"I am not a pretty girl"

Critical thinking skills

Get them. This is why philosophy/logic/ethics/critical thinking needs to start in grade school. Before that, whenever possible. People take a standard view of things and that’s it. Any words that deviate from that are dismissed, shut down, derailed, and silenced. THAT IS NOT OKAY. I rarely get this upset about things that I see happen here. Not enough to call this much attention to it. But I’m pissed the fuck off. Pissed off Steph = not fun for anyone involved. That’s why I’m stopping it now. I will rant here if it strikes me, but that’s it.

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I’m taking a break. Maybe a permanent one. I’m tired of the shit. I’m tired of the close-mindedness, especially from social justice people. I’m tired of people not being able to open discussions without being silenced. I’m tired of not being able to converse. Ethics/SJ/politics are all laden with subtlety and nuance. But when someone gets upset, which is understandable and justified, it turns into a shut-down instead of a discussion. I refuse to engage anymore. I can’t handle it and I don’t need to be worked-up just walking into my own space.

My entire life is devoted to ethics; I have a degree in it, I think about it every single day. Philosophy is about examining everything. That examination does not come without upset feelings, approaching taboo or looked-down-upon subjects, or closing down discussions. There are some things that I don’t want to think about and some opinions that I will never agree with. I can still talk through them. I am not one to get into a huff easily. Let me take that back - I can, but I work really hard to keep myself accessible to other people. Right now, I’m walking away. My own disability and chronic illnesses are making my life hard enough. I’m not going to hurt myself further by engaging in more hateful words or slinging of insults that aren’t taking into account the fact that in order to move forward, we have to be uncomfortable. So yes, me walking away is contradicting everything I just said, but my mental health is broken as it is.

Some of you know where to find me. Otherwise, maybe I’ll see you again. Maybe not. 

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bulhana:

jemimaaslana:

Mom Awarded $7 Million After Child Born With Disability

nicocoer:

[CW: Ableist bigotry, discussion of selective abortion Re: disability/Eugenics, and just aall around ick. note it links to a more detailed article in the Boston Globe. Edited slightly to make said link accessible- original text added a “To read more, click here” line.]

A Massachusetts woman will receive a $7 million settlement from four medical professionals who she says did not offer tests that could have led her to abort her child who was born with a disability.

Ran Zhuang sued a doctor, nurse practitioner, geneticist and genetic counselor at UMass Memorial Medical Center in Worcester, Mass. claiming that they did not give her the option to undergo testing during her 2007 pregnancy even though she told them that having a typically developing child was important to her.

Zhuang says that she would have terminated her pregnancy had she known that her daughter, Annie Guo, 3, would be born with a genetic disorder. The girl now requires constant care.

The legal settlement, which was approved by a judge this month, will help pay for the girl’s care once she reaches adulthood and is no longer eligible for many state and local support services, reports The Boston Globe.

JKASDBfhkFBLJKKKKBG

*rage face*

You know… on one hand it’s fucking awful everytime to hear that disability will cause people to abort a child.

On the other hand it’s also fucking awful to hear people judge those who have decided that they cannot care for a severely disabled child. Who are we to judge how far their spoons will stretch?

And even worse to hear people judge those who sue in order to get the money required to care for such a child. Being disabled is fucking expensive in many cases. Being a parent of a disabled child does not automatically make you able to pay the bills. State might fund things until the child turns 21 as in this case, but what then?

I cannot fault this woman for ensuring money to support her daughter, when the state no longer will. I cannot fault her for trying to make the best of bad situation - the bad situation being living in a country that does not value the lives of disabled people, meaning that we become heavy financial burdens on families that cannot foot those bills.

I know we don’t want to be seen as burdens. And to view us as such is incredibly dehumanising. But let’s face it: I’m lucky I live in Denmark, ‘cause that makes me far better off than most Americans. In the US, whether or not the parents understand, love and support their child, having a disability can be bloody costly, and a financial burden of that size is not something everyone can bear, be they able-bodied or not.

If we think it is okay to abort a child because we cannot afford one. We must also approve of aborting a child if the cost of caring for its disability would exceed what we can afford. If one cost-analysis is okay, then the other has to be also. Not until the financial cost of raising a child becomes the same for the parent whether or not the child has a disability or is able-bodied, can this decision be made purely with consideration of disability-ethics.

This should not lead us to judge the parents who abort a disabled child, but should rather lead us to judge the society that does not want to help people with disabilities, so that our loved ones shouldn’t have to bankrupt themselves in order to secure care for us. Can we really fault a parent who wants to be sure they can support their child financially?

This story doesn’t tell us which disability it is this woman’s daughter has. It’s not really any of our business anyway. It just says she’ll need constant care for the rest of her life, and who will pay for that if the mother cannot? We can have all sorts of opinions on who ought to pay - but who will actually do it?

I’m so torn on this issue. In an ideal world everyone would be able to afford any child, no matter that child’s needs and the cost of those needs. As it is, society is doing its best to keep people with disabilities poor and out of sight. And I just cannot find it in myself to judge a person for having decided that they cannot give that child what zie needs, ie. home, food and healthcare.

I don’t know what to make of the wording “the mother’s personal and cultural needs.” But oh my goodness a lot of things can be hidden away in there.

Add to that that there might be a healthy dose of racism in this one, as Ran is Chinese and does not speak English according to the article. All translations were done by her husband, who is not a medical professional nor presumable a professional translator, so who knows what might have been lost in translation?

This case is like a hornet’s nest of issues and I’m finding it very hard to judge anyone but the hospital really.

What Jemima Said.

I used to be quick to judge people who would abort if they knew their child would have a disability. I’m ashamed to say I had to be schooled to realize that this judgment is not okay. For so many reasons, which Jemima has done a great job of articulating.

I have to agree. I can absolutely see how this is a tricky subject regarding ableism. However, as Jemimaaslana said, there are class issues at play, too. Not even just against the poor. I mean, we tend to have no problem saying that if a person is too poor to care for a child, then they should be able to choose to abort. Yes, having a child who is disabled changes the discussion a bit, but would we really want a child with certain needs to be born to someone who can’t afford to care for them or who just doesn’t want them? Seriously. I know that it’s a major issue, but if the child would be potentially unloved and/or uncared for… idk. It’s just not as simple as “eww she’s an ableist asshole we should shun” going on in these cases.

There are plenty of people who wouldn’t abort if they found out their child were going to have a disability. I didn’t even get tested because it wasn’t an issue for me, even though I am well below poverty level. Were I to get pregnant now, with my own disability causing me daily problems, I would want to know. Hell, I’d have an abortion no matter what b/c my body can’t carry another child and it would just ruin the rest of me.

There is still the matter we always refer back to when talking about abortion in general. The fetus does not have more rights than the person carrying it. Does that change if the fetus is disabled? idk… for me, it doesn’t. It’s still about the parent’s choice. Though, I admit, it becomes stickier to weed through, without a doubt. There is a long history or eugenics and we can’t discount that or the potential ableism. Like I said (and one of the things I love about ethics), it’s not a simple question and it does not have a simple answer. There are too many intersecting issues to just dismiss it one way or another. 

(via kavitiya-deactivated20111229)

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punkrockmichelle-blog asked: Here are the rules:
Each tagged person must post ten things about themselves. You have to choose and tag ten people. Go to their blogs and tell them you tagged them. No tag backs.

Let’s see if I can think of 10 more things…

1. I love dogs more than I love a lot of people. Dogs seem to love me, too. A couple of months ago, I was out with two friends. We were walking out of a cafe and as friend A was saying something about a dog with her hand out, he walked right past her and over to me, almost before I knew what was going on. I chuckled to myself. He was a big ol’ bulldog and I wanted to take him home with me.

2. I love big dogs the most.

3. I have a mentally ill dog right now. He is smallish (about 40#), part pit, part basset hound. He is a sweet dog, but his behaviour is really hard to deal with.

4. I would love more dogs, but until my body is at a place where I can care for them properly, I just can’t do it.

5. My dream was always to have enough money and space to rescue abused and/or abandoned dogs. 

6. Something non-dog-related… I’m in the midst of an awful depression. It’s been a rough few years and I’m having a real problem shaking the shit off lately.

7. I love love love Dr. Pepper. I can’t live without it.

8. I wish I had nice fingernails.

9. I wish that my insecurity would pass and that I could show emotion/affection for people the way that I used to. I don’t like to make people uncomfortable and apparently I always flirt. I just think I’m being nice. Anyway, I don’t like people to feel uncomfortable, so I hold it all in.

10. I can’t cry in front of people anymore. Not about my feelings. A sad movie is different. I can’t even talk about my feelings with people. Not my deepest feelings, which are, of course, the ones that need to be spoken.

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Hilariously weird

adelineandthebirdcage:

My dad just called my mum a “testicle”.

Yes, you did read that right.

Then my mum was like “you are so rude” and my dad was like “rude?! Rude?! I’ll show you rude!”

And then we all saw his arse for the 328493th time this week.

hahaha, this sounds so much like my house. Our kids are going to be so embarrassed when they are older. lol

(via thebirdcagecrafts-deactivated20)

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nudiemuse:

Tiny fiction by me. Read, enjoy, share.

Yay!

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lilahisthenight:

numol:

if you can’t do this, passing it around also helps, if you can do that.  thanks.

from the email alert i got for this:

Alaina Giordano was diagnosed with breast cancer three and half years ago. That was bad. 

This is worse: On April 25th, a judge in North Carolina used Alaina’s cancer as a key reason to transfer custody of her 5-year-old son and 11-year-old daughter to her ex-husband (a man Alaina describes as “abusive” and who lives more than 700 miles away). 

This is happening even though Alaina says her kids “know that I have cancer, they know that I go for treatment once a month now, they know that it’s stable. They know me as mom, and it doesn’t affect our daily life.”

She has just two weeks to appeal, and her hope is that a huge outcry from the public and local elected officials can help reverse the decision. 

Thankfully, that outcry is growing quickly. A petition started by Alaina’s sister Lauren has more than 7,000 signatures, Alaina was interviewed on Good Morning America and the Today Show, and media throughout North Carolina and the U.S. are now covering the injustice. 

But time is short, and the wrong outcome here sets a dangerous precedent for mothers and fathers with cancer or other serious diseases. Please sign Lauren’s petition asking that Alaina Giordano’s breast cancer not be used as a reason to take away her kids: 

http://www.change.org/petitions/do-not-allow-nc-judge-to-take-alaina-giordanos-children-just-because-she-has-cancer

Thanks for taking action,

- Shelby and the Change.org team

P.S. Alaina is urgently looking for a lawyer who can help with her appeal, pro bono. If you’re qualified to practice law in North Carolina and can help, shoot me an email at Shelby.Knox@Change.org

This makes me sick to my stomach.

This is beyond awful. How can that be justification to take children away? 

(Source: still-kind-of-numol, via heavyaura-deactivated20111025)

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Put a * in my ask, I’ll put my iTunes on shuffle and tell you our song

alexburrows:

please?

This could be fun. If not, I’ll start listing you all on my own. : )

(via juthikaforpresident-deactivated)

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